"That's Not Our Child" — Dunlop Tires Gets Dragged Into a Baby Photo Thread

Japan has a tradition of corporate social media accounts with actual personality — the kind that shows up uninvited to a thread about a baby and says, diplomatically, that child is not ours.

This thread started when a parent posted that their newborn’s wonderfully round, padded legs had started to resemble the Dunlop tire mascot. Dunlop’s official account replied almost immediately. Within hours, people were flooding Dunlop’s mentions with photos of every round, tubular, or stacked thing they could find, demanding official classification.

Comments

@DunlopTyresJp — Official

I can’t say where exactly, but that child is not ours.

どことは言えないけど、うちの子じゃない。

Here you go. [photo of the actual Dunlop mascot]

こちらです（本物のダンロップキャラクターの画像）

@DunlopTyresJp — Official

This one is ours.

この子はうちの子です。

Stop putting everything into visual impact.

インパクト全振りやめろ

What even is this lol. And it’s genuinely the official account??

何これw しかも本当に公式と言うw

No offense, but whoever designed this might need a check-up.

申し訳ないですが、これ考えた人アタマおかしいんじゃないですか？

This is the grandfather ☺️

お祖父様☺️

@DunlopTyresJp — Official

That one is the founding ancestor.

こちらは開祖さまです。

Isn’t the one on the right yours?

右の子はおたくの子ではないですか？

@DunlopTyresJp — Official

The one on the right is a cousin.

右の子は親戚の子です。

That looks like a child of the Michelidon’t brand.

ミシュラぬメーカーの子ですねぇ。

@DunlopTyresJp — Official

Nope, nope — wordplay doesn’t change anything.

だめだめ、もじってもだめです。。

@DunlopTyresJp — Official

The replies are getting harder and harder — this one took me a dun long time to write, lop.

ダンだん返信の難易度があがって、この返信書くのにロップんかかりました。

The Japanese original hides “Dunlop” split across the sentence: “だんだん” (gradually) and “ロップん” (a lot). The account had been doing this throughout the thread.

I’m obsessed with this account’s sense of humor. Of course they make good tires — clearly nothing slips past them.

ダンロップの笑いのセンスが好きすぎるww 流石！いいタイヤだ！そりゃ滑らないわけだ

I genuinely still don’t know what the Dunlop mascot actually is.

これ本当にわかんないんだよな、結局ダンロップのキャラは何なんだ

@MICHELIN_JP — Official

We’re the guardians. Sorry our child caused such a commotion 🙇

保護者です。うちの子がお邪魔しました🙇

@DunlopTyresJp — Official

Oh, the parents! Thank you for coming to pick them up.

お、親御様！お迎えありがとうございます。

The guardian has descended 😆

保護者降臨😆

I actually laughed out loud 😂

声出して笑った😂

I sincerely apologize for causing this commotion due to my insufficient knowledge of tire mascots.

この度は自分の認識の甘さでお騒がせしてしまい、申し訳ありませんでした

The original parent's baby started a two-day inter-brand diplomatic incident. The child in question remains unaffiliated with either company.

#Funny #Culture

Source & translation note

Comments loosely translated for tone. Reactions collected from Togetter and X threads.

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