Adults Don't Calm Down — They Just Run Out of Energy

What's going on

At a Japanese izakaya *(a casual pub where groups gather to drink and share plates of food)*, a group of college students was having a deeply serious conversation: "Do you think we'll actually settle down once we're adults?" The kind of question that feels urgent when you're young and believe the future might somehow transform you into a calmer, more dignified version of yourself.

Right next to them, a group of men in their forties was also engaged in something urgent: deciding, via rock-paper-scissors, who gets the last potato on the plate.

The person who witnessed this posted about it online, and the thread quickly became a warm confession booth — adults of all ages cheerfully reporting that no, they have not calmed down, and the data suggests they probably never will.

Comments

At an izakaya, the college kids at the next table were talking about whether they’d settle down once they grew up. Meanwhile, the group of 40-something guys right next to them was doing rock-paper-scissors for the last potato. Probably not.

居酒屋で隣の大学生グループが、「大人になったら落ち着くのかな」って話してたんだけど、その横で40代のおじさん達がポテトを取り合ってジャンケンしてた。たぶん無理。

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Sorry, I’m 40 but I still do tequila shots and play yubi suma (a Japanese drinking game where players simultaneously extend fingers and take turns guessing the total count). It’s hopeless.

すみません40ですけどテキーラ並べて指スマとかします。無理です。

Back in the day there were actually mature older guys. Nowadays they’re all acting like elementary schoolers. That’s probably why middle-aged men stopped being attractive to younger people.

昔はそれなりに落ち着いてたオッサンいたが、今のオッサンはいつまでも小学生みたいなやつばっかりだな。だからオッサンって若い子にモテなくなくなったんだと思う。

About 20 years ago, I watched two men in their 40s on the train, hanging from the straps, staring each other down in silence. Then after a few seconds, one of them suddenly yelled “JUBAAAAN!” and karate-chopped the other in the torso. The other one responded with a full “you got me” expression.

20年程前になりますが、40代ぐらいの男性２人組が、電車内で吊革につかまったまま互いに見つめ合い、うち一人が数秒後に「ジュバーーーーン！」と言いながら、手で相手の体を切り裂くのを見ました。（相手の方は「やられたー！」という表情をされていました。）

Sorry, I’m in my 30s but just yesterday I did thumb-wrestling with a friend over the last piece of karaage (Japanese fried chicken). Live report from the scene.

すみません、30代ですが昨日も友人と唐揚げの最後の一つを巡って指相撲しました。現場からは以上です。

I’m one of those older guys myself, but I think being an adult just means looking mature on the outside while staying 20-something on the inside lol

私もおじさんですが外見大人で中身20代がおじさんだと思うw

Drunk office workers in groups are always as rowdy as students… (when you’re in line at a ramen place late at night, you sometimes run into packs of middle-aged guys fresh off a company drinking party, and they are exactly this)

酒が入ったサラリーマン集団って学生みたいなのりでわちゃわちゃしてるよな...（深夜にラーメン屋に並んでるとたまに飲み会終わりの出張のサラリーマンと思われるおっさんの集団がこれ）

And apparently right next to them, another group of 40-something men was fighting over whether to squeeze lemon on the last piece of karaage (squeezing lemon on shared karaage without permission is a notorious social flashpoint in Japan — the citrus changes the flavor for everyone at the table) (´・ω・｀) yeah, hopeless

さらにその隣で40代のおじさんたちは最後の一個の唐揚げにレモン汁かけてケンカしてたたぶん無理だろうね(´・ω・｀)

So true. Look at women in their 60s — that girlish silliness from their younger years never quite goes away either.

本当にこれ。60前後の女性を見てみ、若い頃の軽薄さが抜けてない。

Forever a little boy lol

永遠に少年ですw

People who can’t sit still will never sit still lol

落ち着きのない人はずっと落ち着きないですwww

I want to grow up to be exactly that kind of middle-aged guy

そのおっさんたちみたいな中年になりてぇ

I’ll enjoy life over potatoes too. That uncle life ♪

俺もポテトで人生楽しむおじさんなりたい♪

40-something guys at an izakaya doing rock-paper-scissors over the last potato — that’s genuinely peak good energy.

居酒屋でポテト取り合ってジャンケンする40代のおじさんとか、「良」のポイントすぎる。

There’s something genuinely wholesome about married men with kids acting like complete children

妻子いるおっさんたちがガキみたいなことしてるの良いよね

You don’t grow up. You just lose energy as you get older.

大人になるんじゃなく、年取ったら元気がなくなるだけ

Being an adult isn’t something that happens naturally, you know. You’re just trying really hard to act like one.

大人はね、自然に大人になるんじゃないんだよ。頑張って大人ぶってるだけなんだよ。

Looking calm and mature as an adult just means you’ve run out of stamina for dumb stuff. In a burst, though, you can still go just as hard as ever.

大人になって落ち着いて見えるのは元気がなくなってアホムーブが持続できなくなっただけ瞬間的には昔と変わらずに行けるもんね

It’s not that you calm down. You just run out of energy.

落ち着くというか元気がなくなる。

Seriously though, if you’re in your 40s just order more potatoes lol. Once you hit your 50s, more people can’t handle fried food anyway, so you’ll naturally get a bigger share.

流石に40代になったら、ポテトくらい追加で頼めよwww 50代になると油もの食えなくなるヤツ増えるから取り分増えるよ

Teen me: “I’ll calm down once I hit my 20s.” 20s me: “I’ll calm down once I hit my 30s.” 30s me: “I’ll calm down once I hit my 40s.” 40s me: “I still haven’t calmed down. It’s never happening.”

10代ワイ　20代になったから落ち着くだろ 20代ワイ　30代になったから落ち着くだろ 30代ワイ　40代になったから落ち着くだろ 40代ワイ　今も落ち着いていないから、今後落ち着くのもう無理だろ

My take

I don't feel like I've changed even slightly since middle school — but I'm assuming that's just everyone. Probably. Hopefully.

#Relatable #Culture #Society

Source & translation note

Comments loosely translated for tone. Reactions collected from Togetter and X threads.

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