Does Kissing 550 Times Really Burn 1kg? A Japanese TV Show Actually Tested It

What's going on

The long-running Osaka variety show Detective! Knight Scoop *(a beloved Kansai-based TV program where "detectives" — veteran comedians — investigate quirky viewer requests; it's been on the air since 1988)* has produced some memorable bits over the decades, but this segment might be one for the books. The request came from a man with impressively long hair who had spent eight years collecting trivia — thousands of entries, neatly compiled, verified one by one. His question: is it actually true that kissing 550 times burns one kilogram of body fat?

The man's hypothesis was methodical. Weigh before. Kiss 550 times. Weigh after. Simple enough in theory. The detective assigned to the case was Maeda Ken, known for taking his job seriously — perhaps more seriously than he bargained for here. What followed was less a romantic experiment and more a scientific endurance test between two strangers, conducted on camera, with background music courtesy of Smetana's The Moldau. Along the way, the trivia man couldn't help sharing some of his other findings: oboe players are more prone to hair loss due to embouchure pressure; "Frankenstein" is the name of the scientist, not the monster; and a person's height roughly equals their arm span. The science was real. The kissing was also real. The results were... inconclusive.

Comments

Why did I tap on this thumbnail lmao

なんで俺はこのサムネをタッチしちゃったんや

I clicked thinking it was a woman and… it was a man.

女と思って開いたら男だった…

I knew it was probably gonna be something like this but I still clicked with a tiny sliver of hope lol. Embarrassing.

どーせそんなこったろーなと思いながらも一縷の希望を抱いて押した自分が情けない笑

I thought the thumbnail was a middle-aged couple kissing. Then I hit play and… 😂

サムネ　熟年夫婦がキスしてるのかと思った。今回は何を見させられるのかと思ったら😂

At this point I genuinely respect him.

ここまでくると尊敬する

Rare footage of a comedian discovering something new about himself.

芸人がゲイに目覚める瞬間の貴重な映像

550 times would be rough even with someone you’re head over heels for lol

550回は好きな人相手でもキツくて草

I thought the person on the left was an older woman, and I was like “wait, Knight Scoop, is Maeda actually okay with this?!” and then… it was a man. Unexpected BL… Big Love…

サムネ、左側が大人のお姉さんかと思って「ナイトスクープ、いや真栄田さんさすがに大丈夫？！」と色々びっくりしたら男性だった…！まさかのＢＬ、、　BIG LOVE、、

If you had absolutely no choice but to kiss a man, this particular requester is honestly not a bad draw…

どうしても男とキスしなきゃいけない状況だとしたら、この依頼者はかなり当たりだと思う…

A guy with long hair who looks this clean-cut is genuinely rare.

こんなに清潔感のあるロン毛は中々いない

He’s got a pretty cute face, honestly.

結構かわいい顔してるよね。

Put some makeup on him and he’d be cute w

化粧したらかわいくなりそうw

After the kissing session, the requester looks… kinda radiant? I think?

キス終わった後の依頼者さん、ちょっと艶やかになってる気がするます

I mean, the kissing-burns-fat thing probably only works when it’s someone you’re actually into, right? Heart rate, hormones, all that… lol

たぶんキスで痩せるんは男女で好きな人同士でやるとかじゃない？笑興奮度とかホルモンの関係とか…笑

That’s probably it 😢

それはあるかも😢

Since 1kg of fat = 7,200 kcal, if 550 kisses = 1kg lost, each kiss would have to burn 13 kcal. That’s roughly equivalent to running 200 meters. Per kiss. Not a chance.

7200kcalで脂肪1kgだから、キス550回で1kg痩せるのであれば1回あたり13kcal消費することになる。だいたい200mくらい走ったぐらいだけど、んなわけない。

A 200m run takes around 20-something seconds, so if each kiss lasted that long… maybe? But the verification process would be absolute hell w

200m走るには二十数秒はかかる訳でキス一回も同じ時間かければ、あるいは…検証が地獄だわw

Even if a 20-second kiss burned 13 kcal, that would make certain other activities equivalent to an ultramarathon. Physically impossible.

20秒かけたキスであったとしても、それで13kcal消費してたら、本番なんてウルトラマラソン級のとんでもないことになる。

If you’re gonna test this properly you’d at least need to go full French kiss, otherwise what’s the point

やるにしてもベロチューくらいやないと効果出ないんやないの

If you’re just measuring weight change, did they really need to strip down for this…?

体重が減ったことを測るなら服は脱がなくてもいいのでは…？

When they went “Alright then, so—” and both of them were just standing there in their underwear I literally could not breathe wwww

「はい！という事で…」で2人ともパンイチなのを見て呼吸できなくなりましたwww

What exactly was I expecting when I hit play on this…

何を期待して、俺はこの動画を再生したのか。。。

That thumbnail should come with a warning lol

サムネ閲覧注意じゃねーか笑

This is exactly why I love Knight Scoop 😂

だからナイトスクープ好きなんよ😂

Someone needs to publish that trivia collection as a book.

その雑学のデータ、本にしてほしい

Accuracy aside, with that volume of entries he could sell it as a trivia encyclopedia. (Kojien is Japan’s most prestigious Japanese-language dictionary, known for its comprehensive scope and authority.)

真偽はさておき、この雑学量なら広辞苑みたいにして売れると思う

His place is spotless and his files are perfectly organized too. Respect.

家も綺麗でパソコンのまとめ方も綺麗で良いなこの方。

At this rate nobody’s going to want to play oboe lol

オーボエ吹く人いなくなるって笑

The sequence of reactions when the oboe player showed up — “you’ve blown quite a lot huh,” “really?!” “hm, I see…” — was too good

オーボエ奏者の登場時、順番に「だいぶ吹きましたね」「ほんとですか？」「なるほど…」ってなるのオモロすぎる

The instrument I always thought was an oboe turns out to be a bassoon.

俺がずっとオーボエだと思ってた楽器はファゴットだった。

Me, an oboe player: oh no. That hit different.

オーボエ吹きワイ、まずいなハッとした

Oboe players do get the pressure, but I feel like trumpet players have it worse for their hair follicles 😅

オーボエの人も吹く時の圧がかかるけど、トランペットの人も毛根に負荷がかかってる人がより多い気がします😅

The oboe angle was genuinely inspired w

オーボエの着眼点はさすがでしたねw

I want them to redo this experiment with two people who are actually into each other.

好きな人同士で検証してほしい

If it doesn’t stop at kissing then yeah, you’d probably burn something

キスでおわらんくなるかは痩せそう

It would definitely not stay at 550 kisses www

ぜってえムラムラして終わるｗｗｗ

The fact that after showing us all that, they wrap it up with a vaguely heartwarming moment — that’s hilarious

ヤバい映像見せられた後ちょっと良い話っぽくして終わるの笑う

I love when Knight Scoop occasionally just goes full BL for no reason

たまにあるナイトスクープのこういうBLみたいなとこ好き

When his hair got tucked back and he was kissed for the last one… okay the requester looked a little cute there, I’m just saying

ラストキスで、髪を後ろにまとめられてキスされたときの依頼者が、少しかわいくみえてしまった、、、。

It’s so dumb and I love it

バカすぎて好き

The ending was nice too, I like this one

終わりもステキですきだわ

If the trivia were available online I’d actually enjoy reading it — it’s the verification method I have objections to

この雑学をWEBで見れたら、検証するのは面白いけど、男同士のキスはやめてほしい

This is precisely Maeda Ken’s area of expertise.

これぞ真栄田の専門分野

At least one of you could look like you’re having a good time.

どっちかは楽しそうにせえや。

I never knew two grown men kissing could be this funny.

おっさん同士のキスって、こんなに笑えるんだな

My take

Forming a hypothesis and actually testing it — that's the scientific method in its purest form. The fact that the hypothesis turned out to be nonsense is almost beside the point.

#Funny #Culture

Source & translation note

Comments loosely translated for tone. Reactions collected from Togetter and X threads.

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