She Married Him for His Assets. The Asset Was a Cat.

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A woman explained, quite matter-of-factly, that hers was a marriage of convenience. She married for the assets. The asset in question was a cat.

She had gone to her then-boyfriend's apartment for the first time, found his cat asleep in a state of complete and unbothered dignity, and decided on the spot that she was going to marry the man and live with the animal. The photograph she posted is the one that did it. Notably, in her own retelling of the moment, the man is not referred to by name or as her boyfriend, but as that man — the obstacle standing between her and the cat.

Someone then pointed out that under Japanese law, pets are legally classified as property. Which makes the joke about marrying for assets not a joke at all, but an accurate description of what happened.

Comments

And here’s the sleeping pose that, the first time I ever set foot in his place, made me think: (I am going to marry that man and live with this cat if it’s the last thing I do…!!)

そしてこれが初めて家に入った時に「(絶対あの男と結婚してこの猫ちゃんと暮らしてみせる…！！)」と決意させた猫ちゃんの寝姿。

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Marrying for the cat lmaooo

猫目当ての結婚wwww

the deciding factor being the cat and not the husband lol

旦那さんじゃなくて猫が決め手なの草

love that the objective was the cat more than the guy

目的が男より猫で面白い

cute lol, all tucked in for a nap lol

かわいいwねんねしてるw

the ears have gone slightly ika-mimi here, probably because of the camera lol (literally “squid ears” — when a cat flattens its ears out sideways, usually a sign of mild displeasure)

写真撮られてるからなのか若干ゃイカ耳になってて草

apparently pets do count as property, so this genuinely is a marriage for assets (´･ω･｀)

ペットも財産には含まれるらしいので、これは財産目当ての結婚(´･ω･｀)

Someone quoted the cat post saying “pets are property, so this is a kind of marriage for assets after all” and I went, well, fair! A precious asset that gains value by the day. Please live a long time.

この猫ちゃんポストの引用に「ペットは財産なので、これもある種の財産目当ての結婚」とあり、たしかにー！となった。日々価値が増している尊い財産。長生きしてね。

The face in the second photo is my favourite kind of cat face. The “I object to this” one.

2枚目みたいな猫ちゃんの顔が1番好き不服です、みたいなかんじの

That disgruntled little face in the second one 😹

２枚目の不服そうなお顔が😹

Forget love match or arranged match, this is a “cat-motivated marriage.” Far too innovative (laughs)

まさかの恋愛結婚云々じゃない「猫目当て婚」斬新すぎる(笑)

The cat’s collection of objections.

猫ちゃんの不服コレクション

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Wait, the cat was your HUSBAND’s cat!?!? (finding this out only now)

旦那殿のねこちゃんだったんですね！？！？(今更初知り)

That’s right! He’s known the cat since it was two, so to this day there is a seniority gap between my husband and me that cannot be closed!!!

そうです！2歳の時に出会ったから未だに旦那と私の間に埋まらない格差があります！！！

Closing a gap like that takes a fair amount of time. But so cute.

格差を埋めるには、なかなかに時間がかかりますね。しかし、可愛い

It’s been nearly ten years since we met and there’s still no sign of it closing, so I think the ranking here is fixed for life 😂 But he’s cute so everything’s fine 🙆‍♀️✨

もう出会って10年近いんですが、未だに格差が埋まる気配はないのでここの序列は一生変わらないんだと思います😂 しかし可愛いので全てOKです🙆‍♀️✨

A cat that sleeps with that much dignity… you can guess the owner must be a calm person too, so maybe that was a good way in. (jealous of the cat)

貴賓溢れる寝方の猫ちゃん…きっと飼い主さんも穏やかな方なのだろうと推測できるからいい入り方だったかもですね。（猫ちゃん羨ましい）

The current husband I referred to as “that man” is, for the record, very kind to the cat and a thoroughly good guy 👍 I’d like the cat to go on having the quiet life ☺️

あの男呼ばわりした現旦那ですが、猫ちゃんにとても優しいたいへん良い奴です👍このまま猫ちゃんには穏やかな生活を送ってもらいたいです☺️

The cat is the clamp! (A twist on the saying 子はかすがい — a child is the iron clamp that holds a marriage together.)

猫はかすがい！

Wedding speeches always bring up the three bags, so I suppose here a cat joins the set. (A stock speech at Japanese weddings: a marriage needs 堪忍袋, a bag of patience; 給料袋, a pay packet; and お袋, a slang word for one’s mother.)

結婚式の挨拶に三つの袋の話が出ますが此処では猫さんが加わるのかな

Nobody who’s kind to animals is a bad person, so cat-motivation is win-win on both sides 🙂‍↕️ (ネコモク is a shortening of 猫目当て, “in it for the cat.”)

動物に優しい人に悪い人はいないから、ネコモクはお互いにウィンウィンなんだよね🙂‍↕️

Um, seriously, I would also like to marry that man in order to live with this cat.

あの、ほんとに、私もこの猫ちゃんと暮らすためにあの男と結婚したいです

This is literally me right now lol. My boyfriend has two enormous Maine Coons and I’m over here going “I am absolutely marrying him and living with those cats!!!” lol

今の私がマジでこれ笑彼氏がメインクーンのデカ猫ちゃん2匹飼ってて、「絶対に彼氏と結婚して猫ちゃん達と暮らしたい！！！」って思ってる笑

Same here — I wanted to live with the resident ladies and gentlemen, so I sulked at my then-boyfriend’s place going “I’m just going to become a member of this household” and ended up married. So it was for the assets…!

わたしも、紳士淑女と一緒に暮らしたくなったから、付き合ったばかりの夫氏（当時は彼氏）の家で「もうこのお家の子になるぅ」って駄々こねたら結婚することになったので、財産目当てなのか…！

Is there nobody out there who’d marry me for the asset that is my cat. At this point I’d honestly prefer that motive (meaning: with so many people out there who dislike cats, I’d feel safe with someone I already know would treasure mine

誰かうちの猫という財産目当ての結婚してくれる人おらんか。もはやそっち目当ての方がありがたい(猫嫌いな人たくさんいる中、うちの猫大切にしてくれるってわかってる人なら安心という意味で

Yeah, that’s true actually… lucky you, fiancé, getting to marry me!!

本当にそうだな…。私と結婚できるのよかったな、婚約者！！

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want to become this immediately

はやくこれになりたい

My take

One begins to wonder whether the vows were exchanged with the groom at all, or with the cat……?

#Funny #Animals

Source & translation note

Comments loosely translated for tone. Reactions collected from Togetter and X threads.

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